Suicide

My morning commute is longer than I’d wish but I love where I live and I love where I work. This morning, as usual, I was tuned into talk radio (WAMU) when I heard Virginia Woman Rebuilds Her Life After Attempted Suicide.

I know what it feels like in that bed, and I hope that I can give you a little bit of hope that you aren’t always going to be in this place,“ she tells them.
– Christen McGinnes

Yesterday, I learned that the brother of a friend (who also happens to be extended family) had committed suicide. The death and the audio profile brought to remembrance some severely dark moments in my own life but immediately my heart spoke, "Thank you.” My soul praised.

I’m not dead.
I’m alive AND I want to be alive.
I want to live.

There were suicidal times.
There were times when I wasn’t suicidal but I still didn’t want to live.

Today, I want to live.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 NRSV

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 NRSV

God wants me alive.

Belief in that simple statement is something I, personally, cannot take for granted.

As I pray for those considering suicide and for bereaved families, I also have to praise God for being in my right mind and rejoice with those who chose life today.