Sometimes I forget. Then I reach my threshold of interaction with groups and crowds of people. I’m reminded that this is the environment that some people thrive in, it invigorates them. It totally wears me out.

Guardian, professional (employed and contracted), minister (leader, teacher, preacher, prayer), daughter/niece/cousin and friend. I am me, in this. My twenties have served their purpose. My thirties will prove ambitious. I need to wrap up loose ends and have the discipline that the demands of life will require.

Two months ago, I was a lazy workaholic, giddy to spoil my parents.

Fear: Psalm 56:3
when I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Fear: 1 Chronicles 28:20
David said further to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and act. Do not be afraid or dismayed; for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished.

Anxiety: Philippians 4:6-7
6) Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7) And the...

On July 7, 2014, my grandfather died. My life is forever changed. An overwhelming urgency of embodied legacy weighs on me.

The off day. I thought today would be my off day. Where I’d observe in worship, frolic on social media, catch up on the 9to5 and lug some equipment for the camera crew. I certainly tangled some cords and studied the most capable Dewbs in action but I was also put to work.

Today, I became the subject of that off camera line of sight that gives the natural, you’re looking towards me but not through me effect in videos. I became the person that the courageous, soul bearing people of The Foundry looked in the eye as they shared their journey. I was the placeholder for the people soon to be blessed by divinity documented in humanity.

I was not the interviewer. I did not ask questions. I could not respond verbally. All I could do, all I needed to do, was listen.

Women poured out their struggles and triumphs for the sake of amplifying the Gospel. They wept tears of painful pasts and a...

Awesome sermon on “Getting the Yuck off” by @vajaah. She’s also into the BlackHack BIT http://t.co/Tc404Vk6zI

— Toby Waller The 3rd (@TobyWallerJr) March 30, 2014

My morning commute is longer than I’d wish but I love where I live and I love where I work. This morning, as usual, I was tuned into talk radio (WAMU) when I heard Virginia Woman Rebuilds Her Life After Attempted Suicide.

I know what it feels like in that bed, and I hope that I can give you a little bit of hope that you aren’t always going to be in this place,“ she tells them.
– Christen McGinnes

Yesterday, I learned that the brother of a friend (who also happens to be extended family) had committed suicide. The death and the audio profile brought to remembrance some severely dark moments in my own life but immediately my heart spoke, "Thank you.” My soul praised.

I’m not dead.
I’m alive AND I want to be alive.
I want to live.

There were suicidal times.
There were times when I wasn’t suicidal but I still didn’t want to live.

Today, I want to live.

The thief comes only to steal and...

I’m a sinner, that’s saved and single. Sometimes, I croon to love songs that are obviously not directed Godward and SING them to Him. He is or ought to be the object of my affection, the source of my comfort, my hedge of protection. His love is worth surrendering to, in His arms I am at peace.

Just then a lawyer stood up to test Jesus. ‘Teacher,’ he said, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life?’ He said to him, ‘What is written in the law? What do you read there?’ He answered, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbour as yourself.’ And he said to him, ‘You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live.’

Luke 10:25-28 NRSV

Synoptic texts: Matthew 22:34-46 | Mark 12:28-37 | Luke 10:25-28
Supporting texts: Deuteronomy 6:5

I think the most devastating part to me is that love is not self-seeking. Such a hard adjustment to make but important to change the mindset

— Shawn Kuykendall (@Shawnsington) November 22, 2013

Today Shawn Kukendall died. I didn’t know of him until today. He was a fellow Eagle (American University student) whom the Washington Post had documented. Today, through his death, I was introduced to his story and his faith.

Shawn Kuykendall, soccer standout, dies of cancer at 32

In a series of tweets on love, his insight short circuited my heart, “love is not self-seeking.”

How often have I sought to receive instead of give, felt entitled and owed instead of obedient?

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:8

I am learning to live love, because God is love and I live for Him. I need my mind renewed, my heart mended, my intentions sanctified.

I’ll get...

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Luke 6:27-28

I’ve wasted years complaining instead of praying.
In painful remorse instead of praying.
Maddened instead of praying.

I’ll never get those years back.
“And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten…”
Joel 2:25

I should have been praying that God birth integrity and innovation in the hearts and minds of those in leadership over me. I should have been praying that they’d have discernment and compassionate in their decision making and for those whom reap the consequences of their authority.

I should have been praying that God sanctified them so that I would be discipled by our relationship, drawn closer to God by their example of obedience and repentance.

I won’t recoil in the face of manipulation ever again.
I’ll...